Improving our extended essay (Nov. 19th)
Notes:
background part of the intro
-> 3-4-5 sentences, if the topic is unusual and hard to understand it should be 8,9,10
the whole introduction should range between 5-14 sentences
the introduction is the most important paragraph!!
The most powerful convincing points should be repeated in a paraphrased way in the summary part of the conclusion. 1-4 sentences.
the conclusion part is the most important part of the whole essay(say why we should care about this topic) most difficult part to write, try to get inside the heads of the readers. POWERFUL PART!!
Limitations should be something (information not valuable/important, did not have time, information not available)
- you could put in one last thing (However, ---(limitation) is not written, --- is incredibly important)
My team and I mainly worked on Ibuki's part of the essay and our conclusion. We also worked on the introduction and everything else that we haven't perfected yet. Our introduction is only 5 sentences long which is the minimum amount of sentences you can have in your introduction, according to Mr.Paterson. So Sayo and I are working on adding maybe one more sentence to make it more convincing and a powerful introduction paragraph. I personally think that our topic is not too hard to understand and is probably something that most of the readers would agree on so we kept the body part of the introduction short. The problem is that our hook is too simple, boring and just one short sentence so changing that is one of my biggest priorities at the moment.
When being taught about how to write the conclusion paragraph there were several new things I had learned and a lot of it was new. For the most part, my conclusion paragraph for an essay would be a summary and a little something about the future of the topic. However, the way we learned it today in class was totally different. The teacher had really emphasized that we need to repeat the most important claims in a paraphrased way. When we were writing the summary we really made sure that the vocabulary we used was extremely strong and the perfect word to express what we were trying to say. There were quite a few times that we kept on repeating the same words within the three sections so we tried to avoid repeating the same words in the conclusion. This put our vocabulary skills/knowledge to the test and we really used our brains to think of the correct word especially in the conclusion. In order to make it professional, we also looked at the AWL(Academic World List) and tried to incorporate those words if they were suitable for what we were trying to get across. I have never written about limitations in my conclusion so this was very new to me. I did not think the limitations we talked about in the presentation would also be something we were going to write about in the essay. However, I think that it is very important to write the limitations and tell the readers that you are aware of your limits, can admit them and have proper reasoning for it. Mr.Paterson gave us a choice of whether or not to have one last thing at the very end. Our team decided on writing one short and very powerful sentence at the end to really bring the whole essay together, after our limitation.
background part of the intro
-> 3-4-5 sentences, if the topic is unusual and hard to understand it should be 8,9,10
the whole introduction should range between 5-14 sentences
the introduction is the most important paragraph!!
The most powerful convincing points should be repeated in a paraphrased way in the summary part of the conclusion. 1-4 sentences.
the conclusion part is the most important part of the whole essay(say why we should care about this topic) most difficult part to write, try to get inside the heads of the readers. POWERFUL PART!!
Limitations should be something (information not valuable/important, did not have time, information not available)
- you could put in one last thing (However, ---(limitation) is not written, --- is incredibly important)
My team and I mainly worked on Ibuki's part of the essay and our conclusion. We also worked on the introduction and everything else that we haven't perfected yet. Our introduction is only 5 sentences long which is the minimum amount of sentences you can have in your introduction, according to Mr.Paterson. So Sayo and I are working on adding maybe one more sentence to make it more convincing and a powerful introduction paragraph. I personally think that our topic is not too hard to understand and is probably something that most of the readers would agree on so we kept the body part of the introduction short. The problem is that our hook is too simple, boring and just one short sentence so changing that is one of my biggest priorities at the moment.
When being taught about how to write the conclusion paragraph there were several new things I had learned and a lot of it was new. For the most part, my conclusion paragraph for an essay would be a summary and a little something about the future of the topic. However, the way we learned it today in class was totally different. The teacher had really emphasized that we need to repeat the most important claims in a paraphrased way. When we were writing the summary we really made sure that the vocabulary we used was extremely strong and the perfect word to express what we were trying to say. There were quite a few times that we kept on repeating the same words within the three sections so we tried to avoid repeating the same words in the conclusion. This put our vocabulary skills/knowledge to the test and we really used our brains to think of the correct word especially in the conclusion. In order to make it professional, we also looked at the AWL(Academic World List) and tried to incorporate those words if they were suitable for what we were trying to get across. I have never written about limitations in my conclusion so this was very new to me. I did not think the limitations we talked about in the presentation would also be something we were going to write about in the essay. However, I think that it is very important to write the limitations and tell the readers that you are aware of your limits, can admit them and have proper reasoning for it. Mr.Paterson gave us a choice of whether or not to have one last thing at the very end. Our team decided on writing one short and very powerful sentence at the end to really bring the whole essay together, after our limitation.
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