WEEK FOUR-1. The Hate U Give.

    A few weeks ago, the Capitol Hill riot occurred in the U.S. How I became aware of it was the sudden inundation of this news on my Instagram feed. Along with the horrific and mind-blowing pictures that swept the internet were voices of BLM advocates. The comparison of black people and white people was indisputable and really sinking in, especially since I am reading this book. 

    As profuse news outlets published videos, images, and testimonies of the day, how heinous everything was is finally being processed by my brain. As I barely make it to watching these videos without shutting my eyes, I truly think those documenting the footage amidst the fog chaos are true superheroes. Delivering the world what we need to see while being encompassed by monstrous anger, traumatic people, officers screaming in agony all under a pandemic is remarkable. The ideology of all lives matter has never seemed more wrong to me, and I hope people from all nations are unanimous on that. Although I had only seen a slight part of the vandalization, I can see that more and more people are getting the urge to dismantle this atrocious system.

Chapter 15

When Starr and Lisa are eating breakfast at IHOP, as they reminisce old times before Sekani was born, Lisa quizzes Starr about what's wrong. Starr feels guilty for doubting Khalil. As her rant proceeds, she mentions that she wonders why she is friends with Hailey. The one who called her a fried chicken and opposed to not be racist. Lisa proclaims Starr needs to write down the good and bad of being her friend, and if the good overweigh the bad, she should keep her at her side.

Although Starr's dad Maverick is still mad at her for secretly dating a white boy, the three meet up at the District Attorney's. The DA explains the grand jury proceedings and ask Starr questions, just not at aggressive as the detectives. As she starts to get sentimental and overwhelmed, Starr begins to vomit, so they head to Maverick's store. King suddenly arrives, vigorously looking for DeVante. Maverick is so small in comparison to King, he talks bravely, chest up, and claims DeVante disappeared. King threatens Maverick about Starr's testimony, because if further investigation happens, the police may be after King for DeVante's dealings.

As the family eats dinner in silence, Maverick suddenly announces that they will finally be moving out of Garden Height. Lisa is beyond excited and in disbelief. Seems like King's threat really changed Maverick's feelings.

Thoughts

The expression 'emotional hangover' really hits me. I've never experienced a hangover, but an emotional hangover is far from the small anxiety problems I've had. Not to invalidate my feelings but I can not even start to imagine what she has to go through and process at 15. 

The argument Starr and Hailey had was truly disappointing. Hailey connects everything with her dismay of being called a racist when Starr never did. She only expressed her hurt feelings toward Hailey's racist words and actions, and never denied her personhood. Furthermore, Hailey blames the friction between their friendship on Starr's sensitivity and exaggeration. Hailey compares her feelings toward the protest to Starr's distress about the fried chicken joke she made, implying there is no need for her to understand Starr's point of view. Doing this analysis made me realize that especially when we are communicating with people who are the minority, and experiencing things beyond our imagination, communication is key. Misperceptions and oversimplified understandings are dangerous.

(PART 2)Chapter 16 

    A chauffer-driven limo awaits Starr and her family to escort them to a high-rank hotel for Starr's interview that will be broadcasted onto television. The entire family comes along, and the neighbors who are slowly starting to realize she was the witness, are all chanting for her from their porches. 

    As she commences to talk, she feels Khalil's presence with her. She explains he was not a bad person, and if people understood him or knew him, they wouldn't be able to call him a thug. She has to contemplate and carefully choose her words, and Ms.Ofrah, through experience strictly told her not to talk about the drugs Khalil sold. Although he had a purpose in his actions, television being an edited and condensed platform, she told her it was not worth talking about. Nevertheless, Starr revolves to defend Khalil. This puts her in unforeseeable danger. 

    Although Starr did not mention King's (the leader of a gang who insisted Khalil to sell drugs), "dry-snitching" was undoubtedly going to bring copious consequences. She tells the anchorwoman, at this point, it didn't even matter if Khalilwas part of that gang. He still shouldn't have been charged for his own murder. She also confesses that the police officer pointed the gun at her as well, which was overwhelming news for her parents. Diane, the interview asked what Starr would say if One-Fifteen (the officer who murdered Khalil) was there. Starr replies she would ask whether he wished he had shot her as well. 

Thoughts

    I love how this chapter was dedicated to the interview broadcasted on television. Five weeks of Starr's life was omitted in the book, but everything seemed as meaningful and powerful as ever. She confronted facts that happened that night, her parents did not even know and this interview brought her much fame. Despite all the attention that suddenly gathered right in her vicinity, she stayed humble, grasping onto her responsibilities and the voice she needs to penetrate into the world.

Chapter 17 😭😭😭😭

    Starr's interview is now one of the most-watched videos in history and trending on every platform possible. Starr and Chris head to prom, but he is acting so distant. She can't figure out why nothing had happened between them. At the party, Starr hangs out with Maya who is complaining and venting about Hailey's attitude, right as she walks past them, starring daggers. 

    Starr, Maya, and her boyfriend are having a blast as Chris walks up to the table as if he just remembered he came with someone. Chris brusquely asks if Starr wants a picture, but she shakes him off. Starr storms out of the party into the car they came in, and questions Chris who is running after her, why he is so robotic and cold-hearted tonight. It turns out he wants to know why Starr didn't talk to him about being the witness, after being told he was the only person that she could stay normal and open around. Although the interview did not show her face, he could tell by the voice and the cut that was shown on television, it was Starr. He feels hurt to know there was still an aspect of Starr he had yet to know, or rather, Starr had hidden from him. 

    Starr goes on to explain, she was scared that people at Willington (where everyone is white and rich) will judge her and call her for coming from "the ghetto".  Chris wants to know why she had to hide it from him without even giving him the chance to prove her wrong. At last, she elucidates her feelings from the past few months, what she was going through, and even her past about living in a one-room apartment. She confronts how tired she is to be treated as a piece of glass, so fragile. But around Chris, everything is normal and they apologize to each other and appreciate each other before returning to the party. Back inside the dance, Starr and Chris dance with Maya and her boyfriend. Then, Chris suddenly takes the mic and stands where the DJ is, starting to rap an original song for Starr, and the entire room unites into one large exuberant crowd. 

Thoughts

    Starr denies being called brave. Disregarding what she may had felt, or how she broke into tears during midst interview, I think she is so powerful, courageous and showcased such boldness to the world. As copious news outlets broadcasted her interview, many dissecting her words like a president speech, a multiplicity of people of course hated her and were outraged by her "disregard for cops."  Some even wished for her to die. But her words written in this book were 'I don't care. I'm not apologizing for how I feel.' 

    This chapter was by far the most romantic yet so beautifully narrated chapter thus far. I am one who always gets emotionally attached to the character, especially the protagonist. This time around, I felt my lungs tighten and found myself with a smile on my face without even trying. After Starr spilled everything in her lungs that she was concealing and keeping from Chris, I could feel the burden that was lifted off of her and as a reader was super relieved as well. 

    I was absolutely blown by how big of a heart Chris has, and he is the least judgemental person I've ever read about or probably even met. He deciphers the excruciating pain Starr had probably gone through. His words, silence, and actions are just what Starr needed for support. I do not think other boys would've been there and treated Starr like Chris. At the beginning of the book, I had interpreted him as one ordinary boyfriend not very included in Starr's life but seems like I was completely wrong. I'm out of words for this chapter for how inclusive the writing is, descriptive yet so sentimental, and how I was truly engrossed in the book.