WEEK ONE. The Hate U Give (Ch.1-5)

On the first day of 2021, I find myself reading my book of choice, The Hate U Give, written by Angie Thomas. Two chapters in, and I felt the strong urge to type out my vigorous and confused feelings onto a blog. The whirlwind happening inside me thus far is so personal yet so detrimental, easily prevailing over any novels I've previously read. My plan was to document after reading a decent amount of chapters, but it seems like that is not happening for this one. I am not certain if I am enjoying this novel just yet, but for one thing, I feel strangely attached and feel as if I have been given the responsibility to read it. 

Chapter 1: 

The Hate You Give is narrated by main character Starr Carter, a black teenager. As the novel opens, she attends a party in a nearby neighborhood after being invited by her friend Kenya. As soon as she arrives, just from the clothing and vibe, she instantly feels displaced. The neighborhood that the party is being hosted, Garden Heights is a primarily poor place with predominantly black people. So coming from a rather fancy and majority-white school, Starr is made fun of. She laments that back at her school, coolness comes with being black as long as she conceals or completely seals the difficulties associated with being black, where as in Garden Heights 'coolness' needs to be earned.

At this party, suddenly gun shots sound in the distance (somewhere in the house) so Starr runs away with her best friend Khalil that she coincidentally ran into at the party. The two stampede into Khalil's car and swiftly drives away from the shooting. They reminisce about the childhood they shared and the topic goes onto their friend Natasha, who is no longer with them. This conversation is interrupted by the police.

Thoughts:

There were so many characters showing up one after another from the very start, and I was on the brim of losing it. Keeping track of all the characters and even more, comprehending the story was a little difficult at the begining. So, I read a few sentences of SparkNotes, and reread the first page which instantly ameliorated my grasp of the novel. I've utilized SparkNotes quite well, and apart from the first few pages, I only allowed myself to use it after completing the entire chapter. It became a great recap of the content and helped me check if my understanding was correct. 

It is painful to read Starr's insecurity of feeling inauthentically black in her own neighborhood. I'm sure she is well aware of it herself, but still having to persevere  through the pain is so dreadful and deteriorating to read as a girl the same age as her. Such questions such as 'Why does she have to feel so inadequate at a friends' gathering?' and 'Is there any reason to differentiate Starr just from hanging out with white people?' were a few questions that came to mind. 

The chills and nervousness that ran throughout my body when I read the words "Pop! A shot rings out" was like no other. After being locked at home for years, Starr finally attended a party with her friends and what awaits her is a shooting. I have no words for my disbelief. wSuch events would never happen in Japan and reading how this is the "norm" in some areas of the U.S really shocked me. This became a significant wake-up call to me for realizing how different the world can be even on this same planet. 

Chapter 2: 

The chapter commences with Starr recalling a lesson given to her from her father Maverick, when she was still nine. Maverick told Starr to always obey what the police say and make no sudden moves. She was always taught to keep her hands visible, speak when told to and make note of the number and appearance of the police officer. As Khalil is asked for an identification, he insists to leave them alone. Starr figures out the number of the police officer, one-fifteen. One-fifteen forces Khalil to get out of the car, but he resists to do so. As the officer checks for any drugs, presuming there are, he dissapointedly finds nothing. As the officer walks away and tells Khalil not to move, he opens the door to check on Starr. At that moment, three gun shots strike him in the back and the next thing we know, blood is rushing out of him as he lies flat on the road. 

Thoughts:

The illustration of Khalil's death was quite brief, but the sentiments emersed within me when reading the last page of this chapter was unforgettable. The image depicted in this chapter was exactly the same of the video of George Floyd that swept the internet last year. 

By reading the narration, it is apparent that so much is going through Starr's brain and her thoughts are exploding. As a reader I felt very included and so sucked into the novel, having me really processing all these shocking and abrupt events. Police Officer 'One-fifteen' has his face barried in his hands, really regretting his actions, but as a reader who has automatically shifted to Starr's side, I can not abominate him more. 

Chapter 3: 

Starr feels sick in the ambulance, while Khalil is still left uncared of, out on the streets for the whole world to see. So much is overflowing with in her, yet nothing comes out of her mouth. Although her parents are comforting her, nothing with heal her deeply damaged soul. As Starr's mother Lisa, brings her home, she remembers the death of Natasha and the memory of her two friends being shot blur together. As the news of Khalil's death goes viral on the internet, Starr and her family are afraid information on her will leak as well. 

The following day of the shooting, Starr joins her dad in opening their store. (Originally, Khalil had worked for Starr's dad Maverick, at his local store to make some money.) Mr.Lewis, the barber comes into the store and brings up the topic of Khalil and blames his death for him dealing drugs. Other residents come in and they all cooperate in paying for Khalil's funeral since his grandmother is not able to afford it all on her own. Then, one of the customers comment on how gorgeous Starr has grown to be come, and in reply, Maverick jokes about not allowing any boyfriends until she's forty. She has not told Maverick about her white boyfriend, because it is certain she will not receive approval. 

As all these happenings carry on at breakneck speed, the past of Maverick being in jail for five years and conflicts between him and his brother King, become apparent, creating profuse tension. 

Thoughts:

This chapter was quite a rough one. All these black characters have such innocent and pure souls. This was something I've known for the whole of my lifetime and I whole-heartedly love all of my black friends but this book was even warmer. Love and kindness permeates Starr's household, and it really grabs readers' hearts. Starr has already seen two important people be killed by the police right in front of her eyes, at the age of sixteen. Inconceivable. Starr's world has shattered way too many times and is probably way too much to handle. 

Starr not being able to confront to her dad about her white boyfriend is so triggering that my minor problems in life now seem less important. Shootings and Police's inaccurate decisions are life changing occurrences, but such problems like this was equally devastating to me. 

Chapter 4: 

When Starr jolts awake from a nightmare of Natasha and Khalil, she eavesdrops on Lisa and Maverick arguing with her uncle, Carlos(who is a police officer). Sooner or later, Starr's presence is noticed by Lisa and as she makes her way downstairs, Uncle Carlos asks if she will approve of a conversation with a few detectives regarding the case. As much as she is frightened, she agrees. 

Starr accompanies her parents to Khalil's grandma's house, Ms.Rosalie. Nostalgic feelings inundate her as this house was where much of her memories with Khalil were packed. The confirmation that Khalil had been dealing drugs hit Starr hard. Ms.Rosalie is grateful for Starr for having been such a good friend to Khalil, and we also find out that she was the one who took care of Starr and her brother when Lisa was undergoing a very busy time. Maverick hands Ms.Rosalie money for the funeral in return for everything she has done for them. 

Thoughts:

The most staggering and alarming thing in this chapter was Starr having to change attitudes according to where she is. There are so many hardships she has to go through just by her race, and copious threatening disciplines being taught to her at such a young age. The fact that she has to change the way she speaks at school and not speak any slang was heart-breaking. Apparently, she also has to make sure she does not get mad at anyone in any case, because despite how nice of a personality she has, one swear word will have everyone hating her for being black. Unaccetable stereotypes still remain against black people, and her having to look out for those on the daily made me so aware of my own actions towards any race. 

Khalil may have been a drug dealer, and just like Starr says, if he becomes a hashtag on social media, the majority will only see him as a drug dealer. It is undeniable that he indeed sell drugs, but this system in society and the environment is what forced him to make money with such jobs and he hated it as much as society did which is so unfair. 

Another analysis I became aware of was Maverick's (Starr's father) black power philosophy that considerably influences Starr. Her shame at showing fragility to anyone stands in contrast to her father's bewildering power and confidence. This philosophy deeply effects her family and I think is the reason to why Starr thinks her great fears as emblematic of that 'disgraceful' weakness. At this point, I am not sure if this philosophy is good or bad, but it is definitely unique and something to keep in mind when viewing these characters in the novel. 

Chapter 5: 

The day of talking with detectives arrives, and that overlaps with the kids's first day of school after Spring Break. Starr meets up with her friends Hailey and Maya, and they complain about traveling to resorts all over the world. Non-considerate of what Starr has gone through. Nevertheless, that is no excuse for Starr to open up and tell her friends what she did over the break. Starr is always concealing her true self to avoid any complexity with her being the only black student in her grade. As the three make their way to class, they walk into Chris, Starr's boyfriend who she has been ignoring all throughout spring break. Because of the emotional fallout due to Khalil's murder, Starr is vulnerable and wants to jump into Chris's arms. Chris is the only person Starr shows both her 'sides' to in the school, so when they start talking and bonding after a long break, she feels instantly better. Despite that, Starr has not told him about Natasha nor Khalil since she does not want to be seen as fragile. 

As Chris continues to rap, a hobby they share, he grabs Starr's hand. This brought back flashbacks of Khalil and she flinches. She begins to cry in the middle of the corridor. 

Thoughts:

For black people, their skin color is a part of their life and something they have to work around every day. All these issues accumulated by their race is no new stuff to them, and it is only us who have just recently thought of this as a significant issue. 

Reading Starr invalidate her feelings and who she is, was so inflicting. I've never felt more helpless or uneducated. The way Starr and her family prayed for each other and the overflowing love poured into their children from their parents was so heart warming to read, yet the world still has an atrocious understanding or may I say, misunderstanding of black people. No matter how acceptive and 'supportive' Starr's friends are, using sensitive words and thinking certain acts are ok is a mistake. Real support and understanding is needed now, and all these emotions in Starr from this chapter have made me realize that.